The Secret life of Superheroes
by CheshireKitKat
Summary: Here are some random facts i found about you guys favorite superheroes that happened in the comic books which i plan to write one shots for these


Here are some unknown, if not rare facts about some of your favorite superheroes. Not only that but since they facts are really interesting, i am going to do a story for each one of these to go with it. So i hope you guys enjoy this!

1\. Tony was once abducted by a set of his armor that had fallen in love with him and, once discarded missed him being inside of him.

I am seriously not making this up.. it actually freaking happened, look it up.

2\. Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver had an incestous relationship in the ultimate universe, and not only that but Wolverine once watched them do it.

3\. Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent do look similar, and that is inuniverse understanding, not just poor artistry. There have been several characters, including Deathstroke who has mixed the two of them up. Superman has also been able to take up the batman mantle because of their similar frame. The results were hilarious. Superman has also taken over the throne of hell after Lucifer abdicated, and once fought the terminator.

4\. Loki showed Deadpool the fourth wall

5\. Wonderwoman once had a job at a fast food restaurant for a few months. She was Employee of hte Month at Taco Whiz, even though she often had to skip shifts to go save the world.

6\. Tony Stark once flipped personalities and became evil, then turned the entire population of San Francisco super-hot and super-attractive. (i don't know about you guys... but.. that doesn't sound too evil to me. damn it Tony make me hot too!)

7\. Ok, this one is a really really sad one but, Rocket Raccoon used to be a very kindly genetically modified therapy animal tending to a planet of lunatics. His anger stems from having his memory wiped of that place and his loved ones still out there. It's kind of sad because his purpose in life is to be part of a healing process, but the universe is kind of too brutal to accommodate that. Without giving too much away, the memory wipe was necessary to avert a catastrophe. Rocket's a bigger hero than most people know.

8\. Cyclops' optic blast comes from another dimension. so do you know what that means, his eyes are freaking portals form a universe or something that is constantly just shooting out a laser, and the portal opens whenever he opens his eyes. yeah. i know... kinda messed up too?

9\. Tony Stark didn't originally have an ARC reactor, but a huge freaking chest plate. His whole entire rib cage was basically gone. And he needed to charge it every 24 hours or he would die. The way he met Happy Hogan was that he was off being Iron Man, then got into a street race, because he's Tony freaking Stark and ended up crashing because he was about to die. Happy pulled him out from the wreckage and Tony demanded that he take him to the nearest Hotel Room, so he could plug himself in, and not die. Happy obliged and tony offered him $10,000 as a Reward. Happy then replied that he would prefer a job since he was unemployed. So, Tony put him on the payroll as a "driver" and for the rest of the freaking series, Happy Hung around as a pointless loaf of an employee and Tony's friend. TLDR; Tony owes Happy a life debt, has a lot more iron than you'd expect.

10\. In the early issues of Spider-Man, he usually lost his powers to the common cold of all things. During one of those phases he thought blackwidow, this was the first time in which she was shown using her black costume, which apparently a lot of people hated. Anyways, he lost.

Also, quite a few issues addressed with drug addiction and how it screws your life up, Harry Osborn had a really bad acid trip and addiction in which writers used this little rough patch as one ofthe reasons for him to become the green goblin

Also, a Spider-Man from an alternate dimension gave MJ cancer with his radioactive jizz. yeah. This is why you guys use a condom!

The famous "with great power comes great responsibility" was never actually said by Uncle Ben, but it was said by the Amazing Fantasy #15 narrator

11\. The Punisher wears white boots sometimes.

Rogue's a lawyer.

Professor X has a space girlfriend he'd hook up with telepathically.

12\. There's a Superman story where Kal El's pod lands in Gotham and is adopted by the Wayne Family leading Kal El to actually becoming Batman but at the same time having all the same powers he did as Superman.

13\. Matter-Eater Lad can eat anything that is matter, from stun beams to an entire galaxy at super speed.

14\. Superman and Muhammad Ali got in a fight, Ali knocked him out.

15\. Black Panther is the ruler of Wakanda, and based on certain panels and it's calculated that Wakanda's entire GDP based solly on the worth of its Vibranium is well over $90 Trillion. And that's just on the stuff that is used in Captain America's shield and not it's other exports. Meaning that he is richer than freaking Batman.

16\. Scarlet Witch (Wanda Maximoff) and Vision got married, they had a joint wedding with a woman who was marrying a tree spirit. However, since Vision is an android, she used magic to magic to make twin babies out of a demon's soul. Then those babies soul's were harvested, and reincarnated into two boys who look alike but are biologically in two different families, One is a gay semi-god-like wizard while the other is a white haired ex-juvie speedster. Also, out of pure freaking concidence, their families just happened to name them the same names as Wanda named them. Also, not to mention the fact that her and Quicksilver are Magneto's children, but the comics retconned that because Marvel didn't have the rights to Magneto. They kept it that way in the x-men movies however though. this is just the tip of the barrel of weird things about this family.

17\. When Deadpool was initially in The New Mutants and X-Force comics, he was nothing like he was now. He was just another generic ninja/assassin character that virtually had no personality.

18\. There is an established alternate universe in which Tony Stark was born a woman named Natasha Stark, and married Captain America. The Civil War never happened in that universe, presumably because they were adults who actually communicated effectively with one another. Basically, the whole Civil War could have been avoided by Tony and Steve being gayer with one another.

19\. The Black Canary most readers know nad love (the one with the Canary Cry superpower) is actually the daughter of the original Black Canary whom didn't have any superpowers. The daughter was cursed with the Cry and banished to an alternate dimension where her body matured, but her brain did not. The original Black Canary was about to die of radiation poisoning, so Johnny Thunder's Thunderbolt swapped the orignal Black Canary's mind with her daughter's now 25ish old body. That's how she got the Canary Cry, comics man..

20\. Archie was once targeted for death by the Punisher due to a wacky misunderstanding.

21\. Kyle Rayner, one of the five Earth-based Green Lanterns, had a villain called Major Force who killed his girlfriend and stuffed her into the fridge.

Oh, and Kyle also pretty much became a god on two different occasions.

22\. This is Earth-1610, not Earth-616.

Let me tell you about Robert Bruce Banner. There is a clone Hulk made by Gregory Stark (tony's other brother... yeah, apparently he has an older brother in this universe) that has the Hulk's strength and Bruce Banner's intelligence. He is also known as Nerd Hulk! He is much weaker than the regular Hulk to to predictability. The Hulk is unpredictable, the brains make him predictable. He had some adventures, and then ended up working for a vampire King named Anthony. He got pissed and then undermined Anthony's Leadership and became

NERD HULK, KING OF THE VAMPIRES!

So yeah, apparently, this is all stuff that happened in the comic books. anyways i plan to turn at least all of these into a one shot, maybe more than that for each one of these. so this should be fun. as for the whole Scarlet Witch one, i might just have to turn that into it's own story. there is so many weird things that i can do with that family. becaue they do crazy weird stuff.


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